Grief During the Holidays: Getting Through 2026, and When to Reach Out

Labyrinth Psychiatry Group · Published November 9, 2026 · Prepared by the practice’s editorial team · Sources read November 9, 2026

The short answer

Grief during the holidays is usually grief, not a disorder. The National Cancer Institute (NCI) describes grief bursts: short periods of 20 to 30 minutes of very intense distress. Reminders set them off. NCI names holidays, the anniversary of the death and giving away the person’s things. The American Psychiatric Association (APA) says grief symptoms may increase at different points in time. It adds that they usually do not need mental health treatment.

Three things are worth knowing before Thanksgiving:

• Plan the dates, not the whole season. Most of the strain sits on a few days you can see coming. The 2026 dates are below.
• Know the line. For adults, the APA’s DSM-5-TR rule for prolonged grief disorder starts 12 months after the death. Depression can show up sooner.
• Know who to call. If you or someone else is in danger, call 911. For any thought of suicide, call or text 988, day or night.

Your 2026 holiday dates, and a question to answer for each

Thanksgiving Day is Thursday, November 26. Hanukkah begins eight days later. Christmas Day and New Year’s Day both fall on a Friday. The dates below come from the U.S. Office of Personnel Management and Hebcal.

If the death happened near the holidays, its anniversary lands in the same weeks. NCI names both holidays and anniversaries as reminders that set off grief bursts. Put the anniversary on the calendar too, and plan that day the same way.

Coping with grief during the holidays: a plan for the hard days

The Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress at the Uniformed Services University puts the first rule plainly. Bereaved people “should never feel pressured to comply with such expectations.” It means the cards, the parties and the pressure to feel happy. With that in mind:

• Choose your yeses in advance. Decide which gatherings you will attend and for how long. Drive yourself, so leaving early is easy.
• Hand out the missing roles. Someone carved, hosted, baked or called everyone. Name that job out loud and give it to one person, or drop it this year.
• Expect the wave, and plan an exit. NCI says a grief burst lasts 20 to 30 minutes. Know where you can step outside, and who will come with you.
• Keep the basics. MedlinePlus says people who are grieving may have crying spells and trouble sleeping. Keep regular meals, a set bedtime and a daily walk on the calendar.
• Watch the drinking. MedlinePlus lists excessive alcohol use among the complications of ongoing grief. Our guide to holiday drinking and your mental health covers what alcohol does to mood and sleep in the days after.
• Say who you are missing. NCI says a lack of social support increases the chance of problems coping with a loss. Tell two people which dates are hard, and ask them to check in.

Honoring the person you lost

The same Uniformed Services University guide says the season “also offers opportunities to move forward in one’s grief.” It suggests honoring the person’s favorite holiday traditions, food, holiday music or movies, or starting new traditions. A few ways to do that:

• Cook the dish they always brought, and say whose recipe it is.
• Play their music at the meal, or watch the movie they watched every year.
• Light a candle for them at the start of dinner, or on one night of Hanukkah.
• Keep one tradition exactly as it was, and change another on purpose.

When children are grieving too

The Uniformed Services University guide says children are likely to feel an amplified sense of loss at the holidays. They benefit from love, attention and connection with the trusted adults in their lives. NCI adds that a grieving child “may be sad one minute and playful the next.” That does not mean the child has moved on. Children also revisit a loss at important moments as they grow.

Labyrinth’s therapy services are for adults 18 and older. For children, young adults and families, Union County’s 2025-2026 behavioral health guide lists one grief counseling resource: Imagine, A Center for Coping with Loss, at 244 Sheffield Street in Mountainside. Imagine says it provides free peer grief support, year-round, for families dealing with the death of a parent, sibling or child. Call 908-264-3100 to schedule an orientation.

Holiday grief or something more? What the sources say

NCI and MedlinePlus describe ordinary grief. The APA describes prolonged grief disorder, added to the DSM in its text revision (DSM-5-TR), released in March 2022. This table puts them side by side. It is a reading aid, not a self-test.

Prolonged grief disorder: the APA’s criteria

The APA describes prolonged grief disorder as intense, persistent grief that causes distress and problems in daily functioning. A person may feel intense longing for the one who died, or be preoccupied by thoughts of the death. For a diagnosis, the APA says:

• Time: the death happened at least a year ago for adults, or at least 6 months ago for children and adolescents.
• Symptoms: at least 3 of the 8 below, nearly every day, for at least the last month.
• Norms: the grief lasts longer than might be expected based on social, cultural or religious norms.

The eight symptoms the APA lists:

1. Identity disruption, such as feeling as though part of oneself has died.
2. A marked sense of disbelief about the death.
3. Avoiding reminders that the person is dead.
4. Intense emotional pain, such as anger, bitterness or sorrow, related to the death.
5. Difficulty with reintegration, such as problems engaging with friends, pursuing interests or planning for the future.
6. Emotional numbness: an absent or markedly reduced emotional experience.
7. Feeling that life is meaningless without the person who died.
8. Intense loneliness: feeling alone or detached from others.

The APA estimates that 4% to 15% of bereaved adults will experience these persistent symptoms. It names higher risk when the death was very sudden or unnatural, after the death of a child or a spouse or partner, for people with a history of depression, and for people without social support.

What that means for a first holiday season: if the death was less than a year ago, an adult cannot meet the APA’s time rule yet. That is not a reason to wait. NCI says a bereaved person can be diagnosed with major depression when symptoms occur outside the normal grief process. In NCI’s comparison, painful feelings that stay constant instead of coming and going, and feeling worthless, point away from normal grief.

When to reach out for help with grief

MedlinePlus, the National Library of Medicine’s health site, says to contact a provider if:

• You can’t deal with grief.
• You are using excessive amounts of illegal drugs or alcohol.
• You become very depressed.
• You have long-term depression that interferes with your daily life.
• You have suicidal thoughts. Call or text 988 now; do not wait for an appointment.

Help can come from more than one place. MedlinePlus lists clergy, mental health specialists, social workers and support groups. It says a support group helps relieve the stress of grieving, especially after losing a child or spouse. For prolonged grief disorder, the APA says treatments using elements of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) have been found effective in reducing symptoms. It also says there are currently no medications for the specific symptoms of grief. When depression comes with grief, medication is a separate question for you and a prescriber.

Grief therapy at Labyrinth Psychiatry Group in Cranford

Labyrinth’s psychotherapy page says the practice is accepting new patients for psychotherapy. Its therapy services are for adults 18 and older, in person or virtually. Each person referred for therapy first receives a biopsychosocial assessment, to determine which services fit. The approaches the practice’s therapists are trained in include:

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy
• Interpersonal therapy
• Psychodynamic therapy
• Mindfulness-based meditation approaches
• Family and couples therapy

One of the practice’s therapists, Christina Verrico, LSW, writes in her bio: “I work with individuals navigating various difficulties including grief and loss, trauma, depression and anxiety.” She adds: “I believe that therapy should feel safe, human, and personal.”

If grief has turned into low mood that does not lift, poor sleep or questions about medication, a psychiatric evaluation may be the better first step. Our depression and anxiety evaluation page explains what it covers. The office is at 11 Commerce Drive, Lobby Floor, in Cranford, and visits can also be virtual. Call 908-336-1187 or use the appointment request form, and office staff arrange a time with you.

Help in Union County, tonight or this week

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911. Otherwise:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. “The 988 Lifeline is available 24/7/365. Your conversations are free and confidential.” You can reach out for a friend or a loved one, too.
• Union County psychiatric emergency screening: Trinitas Regional Medical Center/RWJ Barnabas, 655 East Jersey Street, Elizabeth. 24-hour hotline 908-994-7131. It is the county’s primary designated screening service for psychiatric emergencies and crisis intervention (NJ Division of Mental Health and Addiction Services, list updated October 8, 2026).
• NJ MentalHealthCares: 866-202-HELP (4357), “New Jersey’s behavioral health information and referral service.” People who are deaf can reach it through 711 NJ Relay (njmentalhealthcares.org).
• Imagine, A Center for Coping with Loss: 908-264-3100, Mountainside. Free peer grief support for children, young adults and families.
• 2-1-1: Union County’s behavioral health guide says, “Need Help? Dial 2-1-1.”

If someone you love is grieving this season

Support protects people. The APA lists a lack of social support as a risk factor for prolonged grief disorder. A few ways to give it:

• Say the person’s name. Silence can feel like everyone has forgotten.
• Offer something specific. “I’ll pick you up for dinner on the 24th” is easier to accept than “let me know if you need anything.”
• Accept a no without pressure. The Uniformed Services University guide says bereaved people should never feel pressured to meet holiday expectations. Keep inviting them anyway.
• Know the warning signs. Heavy drinking, deep depression or talk of suicide are reasons to act (MedlinePlus). The 988 Lifeline takes calls about a friend or a loved one.

Questions people ask about grief at Christmas and the holidays